You did everything right. First to earn a degree. Graduated with honors. Landed your first “real” job. This should be the start of an amazing career, right?

Yet days into your new role, doubts creep in. You feel like an imposter navigating meetings with executives raised by CEOs and lawyers. Your polished resume got you in the door, but now you’re unsure how to shine.

At home, well-meaning family members just don’t grasp the alien corporate jargon you toss around. They cheer your success yet it rings hollow, missing the context to fully understand your world.

It’s easy to think you’re the only one struggling to find your footing. But you’re not alone. As first-gen women, we know exactly how that feels.

The Stresses No One Warns You About

Being the first to build a professional career comes with unique pressures. Like having to:

• • Decode complex workplace dynamics and politics on your own
  • Figure out “business casual” attire and other unspoken rules
  • Hesitate to ask “silly questions” coworkers with executive lineage intuitively grasp
  • Censor career frustrations at family dinners to avoid blank stares
  • Silently question if you really deserve this job and salary
  • Feel unsure how to expand your network beyond college friends

These stresses manifest physically: anxiety, sleepless nights, frustration. Mentally too, as self-doubt sinks in.

It’s easy to chide yourself for “not having it together” when compared to associates whose parents hold VP titles. They probably logged hundreds of hours at the office growing up. Of course this comes naturally to them.

But consider this: you landed this role purely on your own merit, not family connections. That alone shows your immense potential. Give yourself credit!

According to a 2022 study in the Journal of Diversity in Higher Education, first-generation students have equal levels of engagement and academic performance compared to peers when controlling for other factors. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else.

Still, we know constantly proving yourself is exhausting. The solution? Re-frame obstacles as opportunities to get support.

You Aren’t Meant to Go It Alone

No one masters a career alone, even those well-connected associates likely get regular coaching from family and professionals. Seeking help isn’t weakness but wisdom.

Rather than silently muddling through, connect with a mentor whose experiences mirror yours. They faced the same identity shifts, knowledge gaps, and economic pressures. Most importantly, they understand the isolation first-gen women contend with.

Don’t minimize your stress. Being the “only one” without colleagues who just get it is incredibly taxing. Find your people, whether through employee resource groups, women’s organizations, or diverse professional networks.

Even a short venting call with fellow first-gen women does wonders. There’s power in identifying those nagging feelings you try ignoring. And hearing “Me, too; I’ve been there” provides huge relief.

Did you know 56% of undergraduate students identify as first-generation, but only 27% of employees at top companies come from such backgrounds (Center for Talent Innovation, 2021)? You shouldn’t have to navigate the professional world alone.

Owning Your Seat at the Table

Underneath the nagging doubts, you know deep down you wholly deserve to be here. Your skills and perseverance got you hired. Never forget that! Now it’s time to own your seat at the table.

How? Make a list of your proudest accomplishments so far, big and small. Remember, you navigated unfamiliar settings, proving your sharp learning agility. Review it often to combat self-doubt flair-ups.

Next, get clear on goals for the next 3-6 months. What new skills or visibility do you want to gain? Identify fellow rising leaders to collaborate with. Develop the confidence to ask for what you need: a mentor, stretch assignment, or feedback session.

And embrace your unique strengths. As the first professional in your family, you bring fresh perspective. Share ideas others may overlook. Bring your whole self to your role. That empowers those who follow.